They cater to two unique types of customers: the relatively large market of men who enjoy watching naked women dance and the relatively small market of men who are willing to eat a $10 hamburger prepared in the back of a strip club.
But working at a gentlemen’s club that serves food isn’t what makes Safire special. Being the first exotic dancer in the history of the city to actually go to college does.
Local exotic dancing historian and pervert, Randy Horn, told us via an internet interview, “Throughout all my years of studies, I have never come across one single stripper who actually went to college. Several have made claims, but no physical evidence suggests it to have ever happened. Safire is the first.”
So could this be a new trend? Could it be that from now on strippers will start attending college and merely use stripping as a springboard to greater intellectual and professional accomplishments?
According to Horn, the answer is an emphatic ‘no’. “Safire is the real deal. She is really attending an accredited university. However, she is the first and the only stripper ever to do so. I want to make this clear. Excluding her no stripper anywhere at any time has ever or will ever use earnings made from stripping to attend college, despite how convincingly they claim so.”
So what is it that Safire is studying? What intellectual passion is driving her to endure the indignities of the exotic dancing industry?
She told me while performing a move known as a “gobstopper” on a customer at a back table, “I’m majoring in Exotic Dance with a minor in Pole Dance Science, or ‘Poley Sci’ as we call it…I’m setting my goals high. I want to headline at strip clubs all across the state. I won’t rest until I’ve grinded my cootchie on every man’s crotch in the state of Ohio.”
Here’s to you fulfilling that dream, Safire. I know one reporter who will help you take the first step towards achieving that most noble of goals.
Local Stripper Actually Working To Put Herself Through College
Afternoons Safire Busty trades in her g-strings for string theories.
By MATTHEW MONROE
COLUMBUS—On Friday nights you will find Safire Busty at Kahoots Gentlemen’s Club on Columbus’ northwest side stripping off her clothes, dancing on poles, and grinding on desperate men.
COLUMBUS—On Friday nights you will find Safire Busty at Kahoots Gentlemen’s Club on Columbus’ northwest side stripping off her clothes, dancing on poles, and grinding on desperate men.
On Friday afternoons you will find her on the campus of the Ohio State University studying calculus, the sociological impact of indigenous cultures in modern society, and interpretive dance.
For you see, Safire is a stripper who is actually not lying when she says she is working as an exotic dancer only to pay her way through college.
Safire works at Kahoots Gentlemen’s Club where their tagline is: A Wild Place To Eat.
Local News
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August 29, 2008
