However, this basic flaw in the industry’s economic model did not keep Simpson from investing. Likewise, U.S. law and moral decency did not keep Simpson from protecting his investment the only way he knew how.
Naturally Simpson’s merchandise was not selling well. So a personal appearance was set up for him to sign footballs and knives for adoring fans.
However, the session did not turn out any fans and Simpson allegedly became agitated.
Eventually an unidentified patron walked into the store and immediately Simpson flew into a rage. Sources have obtained an alleged recording of the incident, and it is as follows:
OJ: Lock the doors. Don't let nobody out this room, motherf*****s!
(inaudible)
OJ: You really think you could just come in here and not buy my shit?!?
Unknown: Hey, are you OJ Simpson?
OJ: Right here, man. The passenger side floor mat from my white Bronco: $15. And here: the black gloves I was wearing when I didn't kill my wife and Ron Goldman. And my f**king Heisman for 20 bucks! It's like you're robbing me.
Unknown: Look sir, I'll be honest with you. I just came in here to use the restroom.
OJ: I'll sell you my toilet seat for $10.
Unknown: That's disgusting. I'm leaving.
OJ: Do you see this gun I'm holding, motherf****r? Nobody leaves this room! I'll kill you! Alright 5 bucks.
Unknown: Goodbye OJ.
(sound of door shutting)
OJ: F**k. I thought I had a sale.
Legal analysts believe the tape cannot be good for his current case or his impending one. But Simpson has already been down this road once before and is not worried. When asked whether he believes he’ll be able to win the case, his response was 3 minutes of uninterrupted laughter.
However, Simpson did disclose that he is worried an assault conviction would tarnish his legacy as a serial murderer. He desires very much to be viewed as a winner:
"I don't want to be remembered for losing an assault charge. I want to be remembered for winning a double murder case. I beat my opponents in football. I beat a double murder rap. And I beat my girlfriends. And you just watch me, motherf****r. I'm going to beat these charges too."
O.J. Arrested for Forcing Man to Buy His Memorabilia at Gunpoint
A smiling, still competetive Simpson said he looks forward to the challenge of topping his murder trial performance.
By MATTHEW MONROE
PASADENA—Things got even worse for O.J. Simpson yesterday when he was arrested for the second time in less than a month. Early Thursday morning he was charged with two counts of assault and one count of armed salesmanship for attempting to force a sports memorabilia patron to buy his useless knick-knacks at gunpoint.
The alleged incident took place at The Android's Prison & Baseball Card Shop in Pasadena, CA. The shop specializes in selling used collectibles of formerly great sports athletes who have become murderers, or sports ‘murder-abilia’.
Business is usually slow in the sports murder-abilia market, as it runs contrary to general memorabilia laws of low supply and high demand. Due to people like O.J., the supply of sports murder-abilia is incredibly high. While due to human dignity, the demand is only seven disgusting creeps, making it a tough business.
National & World
Free Daily
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January 24, 2008
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