Last week Weis attempted to motivate his team by “starting the season over” with an intense week of practice and by pretending that the first three games never happened. Weis also announced that, at no time, was he ever tied up in his underwear at fat camp and forced to sing “I’m a Little Teapot.”
Weis says that he looks forward to starting the season over again next week at Purdue. Analysts predict that an 8 game season will be a big advantage for the Irish over other teams that have to play 12 games.
Weis' announcement that he will not eat until the Irish taste victory comes on the heels of Weis becoming the first coach ever to be visible on Google Earth.
Weis has struggled with his weight throughout his career, the low point coming in 2005 when the echo from his belly button caused the team to lose five yard for excessive crowd noise.
In 2006, an F-14 attempted to land on Weis's flattop after mistaking it for an aircraft carrier.
Despite it all, Weis says that jokes like "Your mama's so fat, she makes Charlie Weis look good in spandex" don't bother him. "I don't consider it below the belt" said Weis "Especially since my belt is bigger than the equator."
Few doubt that Weis has the resolve to make good on his hunger strike. Some assistants even worry that he may become too weak to coach.
"I'd just hate to see him wither away to nothing," said one assisstant, adding "He once threatened to eat me if I didn't use fabric softener on his favorite boxers. And you know what, he meant it."
But drastic times call for drastic measures.
Weis hopes that his hunger strike will inspire his team to go out and "win one for the (meal) skipper." Salivating, Weis added “I really hope we win tomorrow.”
Charlie Weis Goes On Hunger Strike
Charlie Weis made headlines last week when he became the first coach in Notre Dame history to be visible on Google Earth
By JARVIS SPIVEY
SOUTH BEND—After leading Notre Dame to it’s first ever 0-4 start, Charlie Weis has announced that he is going on a hunger strike.
“I will not eat another bite until this team wins a ball game,” said Weis at a recent press conference.
Weis then stuffed an entire box of glazed donut into his mouth before saying, “There. That was the last one. No more until we win. I mean it.”
After failing to rally his team to victory for the fourth week in a row, it appears Weis has taken a page from the playbook of Mahatma Gandhi.
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January 24, 2008
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